Discovering Kink (NSFW)

Diary , NSFW Dec 27, 2013 2 Comments

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Like a lot of guys, I didn’t initially have a taste for kink.  I was thrilled to have access to a naked man and get to have sex with him.  I could hardly believe that I got to do this stuff – passionate kissing, sucking, fucking, and blissful body contact – it was so much fun.  I was totally content with everything vanilla sex had to offer.

Indeed, as a young guy I’d see the guys coming out of the leather bars, or on their way to the Folsom Street Fair, and I’d alternatively scorn them and be puzzled by them.  What was wrong with them, that they couldn’t be content with the basics?  Usually (but not always) these guys were older, and I wondered whether sex got more boring as one aged so they had to mix it up to keep it interesting.  Is it that they’d have to invent ever-more involved and twisted scenarios because basic sex just couldn’t hold their interest?  Well that’s just pathetic, I’d think to myself (perhaps subconsciously) – I’d never be like that!

But then a funny series of events came about.  It started with kink.com moving into the iconic Armoryin San Francisco’s Mission District.  Having a porn company move into this historic edifice created a lot of buzz in the community, so I went onto the kink website to see what it was all about.

The kink.com website had a range of offerings for a range of tastes and interests, but what really caught my attention was a series called “Naked Kombat.”  In these videos, two guys would wrestle, the singlets would come off, and at the end the loser would get fucked by the winner.  This was hot, and I wanted to be a part of it.  I figured it was all staged and was just a creative setup for porn, so I wasn’t concerned that I didn’t actually have any wrestling training to speak of.  I found the model submission page on the site and sent in my application.

A casting director from kink got in touch a couple of days later and invited me to come in for an interview.  In the interview we talked about past porn I’d done, the things that turned me on, and what kinds of shoots I’d be interested in participating in.  Shoots with women, or just men?  How about pre-op trans women (i.e., “chicks with dicks”)?  Preference for younger guys or older guys?  I told him I was most interested in the wrestling videos, but would consider some of these other projects.  But, I confided, I don’t have much experience with kink.

To my surprise, the casting director was unconcerned with my lack of experience, explaining that many of their models come in with very little and they learn it on the job.  He told me it takes at least a year to train a dom, so in the meantime they serve as support while they learn their craft.  Well OK, this is getting interesting.  He told me he’d put my photos and details into the database, and that the producers and directors for each division review the database regularly.  If one of them likes my file, they’ll get in touch.  Don’t call us, we’ll call you as they say.

Photos by YogaBear Studio

Photos by YogaBear Studio

Scene 1: I never got a call for Naked Kombat, but I did get a call for “Bound In Public.”  In this series a guy is stripped, bound and humiliated in public.  The scenes are often in public places like stores or bars, played out before a crowd of onlookers.  In my interview I think I mentioned something about being turned on by public nudity and bondage, so checking that box might have put me on the radar.  I was invited to attend a shoot as an onlooker, with encouragement to “participate” to the extent I wanted to.  No pay but free drinks.

Having not had a lot of experience with kink of any kind, I didn’t really know what to expect.  Sure I had ideas, but going to an actual live-action scene as a spectator?  This was new to me.  My initial thoughts were focused around bondage, but I was unprepared for the whips and floggings.  The loud cracks of the whips and floggers on bare skin was startling, and I found myself recoiling.  Crack and the bound guy hollered with pain.  Then again, and again.  Interesting but sorta frightening.  This was a new world for me and I wasn’t totally sure what to make of it.

Scene 2: After a few years out of circulation I had started to do escorting on the side again.  I’d long been a follower of the discussion forum on the Daddy’s Escort Reviews website.  For several years, a couple of the regulars from the discussion forum had held an annual weekend social gathering in Palm Springs.  I’d long read about these and had always wanted to go, so thought this would be the year to give it a go.

For the most part the weekend events were relatively tame in nature: a group dinner, a theater outing, and a pool cocktail party.  Then there was an optional event: a play party at the gay resort called Helio’s.  At Helio’s they had a full setup for a range of play scenarios, including slings, a St Andrew’s cross, a hot tub, and lots of dark nooks and crannies.  But it was the St Andrew’s cross that advanced my understanding of kink to the next level.  One of the guys in our group begged to be strapped onto the cross to be flogged.  The more experienced guys in our group demonstrated proper flogging technique and invited each of us to give it a go.  As I watched the guy get flogged and tried my hand at it myself, I witnessed the extreme pleasure the guy on the cross was experiencing.  This was not scary or abusive – it was something he was seriously, intensely enjoying.  This put things into a totally different perspective.

Scene 3: I got another call from kink.com, this time to be a paid participant in a Bound In Public video.  The setup was going to be a barber shop, with an unsuspecting young guy being manhandled and humiliated in front of the crowd.  I would not be one of the main actors; I’d play a supporting role, pretending to be one of the barbers.  I was invited to participate to the extent I’d want, but if I wanted to get paid I’d be expected to get naked with the rest of the guys and shoot a load at the end.  Sounded good to me!

At that shoot, and the several subsequent shoots I participated in, again and again I saw that extreme pleasure on the part of the bound guy (i.e., the sub).  They’d holler for the camera, but they were reveling in it.  Cameras off, many of the guys would crack smiles of delight.  Sometimes a support guy would ask to be tied up on the cross and flogged between takes, just for the fun of it.

Meanwhile, I was getting my education as a dom.  Being naturally mild-mannered, this was not a role that came naturally.  Yet my look and age suggested dominance, and I was receiving more and more escort appointment requests for domination scenes.  I watched the more experienced guys to see how it’s done, and with practice became not only comfortable with it, but into it.  Yeah, into it.

Once upon a time I didn’t talk during sex, even when asked to.  Now not only am I able to talk, I can talk dirty and forcibly.  At first it felt like acting, but over time I’ve felt like I’ve tapped into another part of me and it feels genuine.  It’s like discovering and exploring a whole other side, one that is continually changing and evolving.  Things that I was never interested in before, all of a sudden turn me on.  When did my nipples become so sensitive?  When did feet become so interesting?

Now don’t get me wrong – like ice cream, one of my favorite flavors is still vanilla.  It comes in so many tasty varieties!  I’m enjoying mixing things up when the occasion presents itself.

I think back to the old guys outside the leather bars, how I used to sneer at them, but it turns out they understood something I’ve just started figuring out.  Instead of fearing getting older and being “one of those guys” I’m looking forward to exploring and discovering things, and enjoying how changeable turn-ons can be.  This is gonna be fun.

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Nate

Writer, performer, public speaker, wing guy, gym buddy, sympathetic ear, naked chef, and all-around good-natured exhibitionist. Say hello at nate@natebeck.us.

2 Comments

  1. Mark

    Since a teen ager I always fantasied aboit feet & pointef shoes & boots

  2. Bob

    I’ve always fancied guys in leather trousers!

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